Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sunday Funnies

Fun joke going around... Cannot find the original origin.

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.
They see a sign: "Contest for World's Most Beautiful Woman." Snow White goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing a crown.

They walk along and see another sign: "Contest for World's Strongest Man." Superman goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing the belt.

They walk along and see a sign: "Contest for World's Greatest Liar." Pinocchio goes in, later comes out with his head down crying.

"Who the hell is Mitt Romney?" Pinocchio sobs.

Friday, October 5, 2012

My Time of Year

Here, have a tree.  My pretty little maple.  I love Fall.

 
That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west;
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the deathbed whereon it must expire,
Consumed with that which it was nourished by.
This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

(William Shakespeare)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Fat Lady Sings

News Anchor Calls Out Asshole

Very nice. Speaking as a "fat" woman, I can tell you, I'm probably healthier than many of my "slim" peers. I don't eat processed foods.   My blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol are enviable. I exercise. I'm beautiful. Fuck you.

I'm sick to fucking death of people thinking that fatness is the last refuge of discrimination.  It's none of your motherfucking business how I look, what my habits might be, or what my relationship status is.  I don't drink soda or eat or drink any foods or beverages that contain high fructose corn syrup. I can't tell you the last time that I ate at McDonald's or Burger King or Wendy's. Sure, I eat a cookie now and then. I like ice cream. I enjoy my food damned near as much as I enjoy my sex life, which, I assure you, is goddamned fucking fabulous.  I don't buy into this Puritan notion that one shouldn't take too much pleasure at the table, as this might lead to taking too much pleasure in other areas.  And I'm sick to death of feeling like I have to justify my life and my "fatness" to assholes who wouldn't know a frozen chicken nugget from a splendid coq au vin, because they never fucking learned to cook for themselves.

I'm also sick to fucking death of the "obesity epidemic" being blamed on individuals.  Our food system, like our "health care" system, is sick.  Americans are constantly being marketed to and fed a constant diet of food that, literally, makes them sick.  Even if you weigh 120 pounds, if you eat the Average American Diet, I can pretty much assure you that you will die ten years before I will.  I can guarantee you that your fat, sodium, and sugar intake is ten times mine.  We need to make it easier, not harder, for people to have access to fresh, healthy food.  We need to encourage folks to grow their own gardens, which has the benefit of exercise as well as fresh food.  We need to stop telling young girls and boys that "skinny is pretty," because, it isn't, always.  And it isn't always possible.  And it isn't always healthy.  I was once a Size 8, but I got there through taking dangerous drugs and starving myself.  I passed out often.  I had hypoglycemia.  I was malnutrioned to the point of being almost fatal.  Is that healthier than being a Size 16 and perfect by the numbers? I don't fucking think so.  If you do, if you prefer skinny girls with cancer to healthy girls with fat thighs, well, then, and I repeat myself, fuck you.